Cover reveal for my new psychological thriller, May Queen Killers...

Rebel without a Claus!

Breakages: 2
iPhones flushed down the loo: 1

Snow inches: 0
Weather report: Less than hopeful.

Egg broken by my son first thing this morning.

Last year, the Christmas tree stayed up till March. Visitors would give it strange, fleeting glances as if they thought it might disappear if they blinked hard enough. Or perhaps they just couldn't believe it was still there? This year, we have two trees. One looks like a tinsel monster threw up over it and other was carefully decorated by my 5 year old son, who hung all the baubles from one branch. Picasso would be proud.

Mother Nature broke this tree in the night

We've had a lot of family visiting over the holidays, so I've had to brush up on my hosting skills. If Mum looks a bit bored, I just top up her sherry. If Dad looks a bit bored, I start a conversation about aerials. We've only got the one loo, so I've been directing guests outside to the children's old potty. It always helps to be creative.


Having drunk my way through the hinterland that separates Christmas and New Year, I have only just noticed the neon pink play dough the kids have trodden into the carpet. I'm now wishing I hadn't refused the kind offer of a shiny new hoover for Christmas, though the snow shovel is proving handy for clearing the kids' toys.

Milk carton elephant made by my children. Not yet broken.

With all the visitors, I haven't been in the kitchen as much as normal, which explains my lack of progress in the breakages department, especially given that about 80% of the things I break originate from there. All the same, it doesn't do to linger in there for too long. There's a pan next to the sink that’s been ‘soaking’ since Christmas Day. It is the elephant in the room. Nobody dares mention it. Because nobody wants to clean it. Maybe I should just break it and be done with?

Wishing you all a very happy New Year xxx